Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Shame - the story of my life.
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