he wants to bone in the snuggie
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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