Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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