I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
