Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
