i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All I want is dick and wine.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
