I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize