i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize