Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
