You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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