At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Found the puke drawer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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