i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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