RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
