Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
