She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
