in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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