I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
