Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
