How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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