There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
