the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
