I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
