I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My hand turned me down
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
