We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
