YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
whose ass print is on the piano?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
