I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
