If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize