then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
