Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
