He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
