playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
