Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize