i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
