If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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