So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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