I bet he comes in French.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
