I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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