He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
