So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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