Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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