**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He has the fingertips of a God
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
