he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
