wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
