Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
