she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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