Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
