do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
