After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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