it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
