just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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