i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
