We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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