6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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