And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
