Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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