i don't plan on having that self control this summer
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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