im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
