whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
