I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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