We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
